Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Off my chest.

I have typed, and then re-typed this post at least 5 times. I can't get my words out the way, I want, so I just get more fussy about it. But I will try to tell you whats on my mind in a list. Perhaps that will be easier.

1) I HATE humble pie. It would appear that every time I think I have my fabby little life all figured out, God smiles, and then makes me eat a big helping of humble pie. I would appear that He has NOTHING better to do, than to teach me lessons, or make me eat pie I hate.

2)Today I think being a stay-at-home mom is the worst job ever! I mean, its not like I am teaching her 5 different languages. In fact, some days we just tolerate each other.

3)Today my husband is NOT my BFF.

4)I honestly don't know how I would function with out my friends. They ensure that I don't get lost in my own misery. I would be lost with out them, and one of my closest, most precious friends is one that I haven't even hugged in person. MAY OH MAY

5) If you ask someone if they want to come back to work, and they say yes, and send you their resume, its only polite to keep in contact with them in ONE way or another.

6) Boot camp starts on Monday. Ick

7) My son is brilliant, and I am very worried that I am not doing enough to channel his gifts. It is something that bothers me constantly. I assure you, there is nothing worse than your child being smarter than you. Promise.

8) I wish I had a clear purpose in life, something for me. I am lost in all of my hats, and none of them are bringing me any type of joy. I want to throw my wife hat at my husband today, my mom hat is fine, but I'm getting lost in trying to figure out what day it is, because, really, they are all the same. I miss my nursing hat, but don't ever want to put more time and energy into an outside source like I did previously. I want my Mindy hat back!!!!!!!

9) I want my neighbor to rot in jail, or at least a different zip code.

I hate feeling like this, because, the happy, perky, fun Mindy is WAY more fabulous, but today I am really struggling with the thought of Is she even real, or just a figment of my imagination? A show, for others. I am not sure today.


  1. Preaching to the choir girlfriend. I am so sorry that you are struggling with this. I think so many mommies are going through this. We lose ourselves taking care of others...I pray that some answers come to you soon. You are a wonderful friend, a great wife and incredible mom. Keep your chin up and I know that God will open a door soon...:)

  2. I completely know what you mean about Colby and are you doing enough. I tell myself all the time how much time has gone by & what am I doing to tap into all of Ri's unseen potential? Am I getting on with her art lessons, do I take her to museums, get her back into her language programs, teach her piano; no, no, no, no! Is she in a private school that can really challenge & work with her; another BIG no! I have no answers but I certainly comiserate with you.