Submit...no really

Hello fiends! As I sit here and write this blog entry, I am quite conflicted. If you know me even a little, then you have probably wondered what in the world happened to me in regards to Facebook. Maybe you thought I deleted you, or worse, deleted you and blocked you from my FB page. The truth is, my family was in crisis the month of April. Like, true, scary, phone calls to divorce attys, and much more. It was BY FAR the WORSE month of my life. My husband was done, and I watched my "perfect, and pretty picture" smash into a million pieces, and there was nothing I could do about it. For the fisrt time in my marriage, I was scared to death. I was slapped in the face(hard) with my selfishness in regards to not only Mike, but to my children. It was a very ugly picture that I was left with. But, what to do? I had to fight. I had to fight even when he was being so cruel to me out of his own hurt. Pinot Grigio had to go, and even harder than that, FB had to go. I had to find new coping mechanisms. I started seeing a counselor. I had to endure times that were awful. I prayed. And prayed. I had to discover that 30, I have no clue who I really am. April showers bring May flowers, and the Ford family is testiment to that. Mike and I are out of crisis, and I have developed so much understanding and growth over the past month. One word that keep coming to me in April was the word "submit. "I didnt really understand it, but I found that I was doing it nonetheless. I know that God only tests His soliders, and while I know that He has taught me(THE HARD WAY EVERY TIME...)many lessons. I have grown from each of them, and every time I go through one, I worry that I can't handle much more. Yet, I do. Now that Mike and I are out of the "crisis," I am conflicted a little, because I am not feeling that this is where this lesson ends. I feel like Proverbs 31 is weighing on me. I am not a bible expert, but I know about Proverbs 31. I also know that I am quite possibly the FURTHEST thing from a virtuous wife. Still, I feel as though I am being called. I am dragging my feet a tad, but I am hopeful nonetheless. Stay tuned for the journey.

Fall fun y'all

Some fun at the pumpkin patch!! The boys were hunting, so it was just us girls!!


LOVE this time of the year!!

TOO BLESSED to be bitter

This about sums my life up.

Dear Mindy, NEWS Flash...

So, today has not been my favorite. I am, by nature a "worsecasesenerio kinda stresser." I think I do this because, I feel in some way I will be "more/better" prepared. One would think that by 30 I could "get" that this is not only NOT the way to be, but I end up wasting so much energy thinking and stressing about some made up situation , and even if the the situation becomes reality...I cant change it! Control freak much? ((sigh)) EVERYTHING that has happened in my life has taught me NOT to stress the small stuff, and yet I still struggle with it from time to time. I came across this picture/quote and I was instantly at peace...kinda like a small, supportive slap, errr reminder from Him that I need to STOP, and just be STILL. I am SO amazed by His ability, and His love, and His lessons, and just Him. And then I am reminded to look around, and remember that He is control. Blessed, and thankful that He is still working on me.

He's my teammate

WHAT a past 5 years this has been!!!! We've had our incredible UPS, and we have had some dramatic and life changing downs. Through it all, he's still here. To cheer with me, to laugh with me, to cry with me and to mourn with me. It's an adventure EVERYDAY, and one that I would not trust anyone else to go on with me, but him. He makes me crazy, yet no one knows my inner, personal side but him, and yet he's still here.


So blessed to call him mine.

My baby boy has turned into a BOY!!

My sweet, sensitive, loving, MAMA's boy is turning into a BOY. It's true. I am not quite prepared for it. I am used to him always wanting/needing ME, and lately he has been latching on to Mike. Now, I KNOW this is normal, and what is supposed to happen, but it still hurts my heart a tad. He no longer wants to talk about "stuff" with me. He tells me I'm embarrassing him(UMMM, I am the COOLEST mom/chick IN the world, DUH), and turns red, and shuts down when I ask him anything in certain subjects(GIRLS, etc...).

He has also developed a "new" love for hunting, and JUMPS at any chance he gets to go with Mike. This makes my heart happy, and love that my boys are bonding. Although, I'm not sure how much hunting Colby is doing, I think it's more the "guy" talk time they get.

Thankfully, Mike fills me in on what's going on in my baby's life(which he makes me swear with my life that I will not say a word to Colby), so I stay informed...kind of

MAN it's TOUGH being a mom sometimes!!!!

Happy Day friends!

Mindy :)

Here we go again!

I find it quite interesting that I'm always pulled back to blogging when I am going through some type of "struggle."
I suppose it has to do with all this "stuff" that is weighing on me, and blogging is a type of release for me. WHAT a roller coaster the past couple of months have been!! Still, I find myself at peace with it all, and know that the good Lord has put me on this journey, because he wants me on it.

Cali comes to Texas...and LOVED it!

We are pretty darn FABULOUS don't you think?! :)




Have you ever met someone over the internet, and felt like they were just "meant" to be in your life? Like you knew them, even though you didn't? Well, if you have, 6 months ago, I would have called you "odd." That is until I met Shea. Shea is...well, there are no words for Shea. She and I have become so close, that I am not sure what I did before her. Kinsley started modeling for her about 6 months ago. She owns a boutique called Stinkin Cute Designs. Her work is truly AMAZING. I am obsessed with personalized clothing, and she keeps Kinsley stocked with all my loves. If you are unaware of her, you HAVE to go to www.stinkincutedesigns.com! It could change your life!

Anyway...So Shea came to Texas this past weekend. She and another one of my friends, Paige Walker(who, I also am unsure what I did before her)planned a photoshoot together. It was PERFECT. The whole weekend was awesome, and went by way to fast. We went to Joe T's for dinner Saturday night. FABULOUS! I think I may have her convinced that she can't live Joe T's, and she needs to move. I was sad when she left, but I know we will see each other again. Super soon!

Anniversary Fabulousness

He is my soul mate. The end.

Our pretty awesome name cards... I LOVE being a Ford :)

:)

Even the door was Super Cool!

I am sure you can picture how awesome it was sitting on the back porch...

The Infinity pool overlooking the moutains was breath taking!


I also forgot how much I LOVE horseback riding. Need more of this more as well!


I even caught a fish! I am hooked now, and feel like I need to fish more!


Well. So. As you can see I was wrong. Please do not tell anyone, as it really does NOT happen that often. But, as far as my fears, and grumpiness in regards to my anniversary adventure, I was wrong. There. The trip was perfect. I do not often say that word, because, well, nothing is perfect. Well, shoot, guess I was wrong again, because this trip was perfect. It was worth every penny. It was pure love, friendship, and fabulousness that came with us. I fished for the first time. LOVE. The horseback riding. LOVE. Skeet shooting. HATE. But everything from the food, to the room, to the staff. AMAZING. And, it was impossible to be there and look around and not see how truly AMAZING God's work is. His art was everywhere. I am blessed.

Love you friends!!!

YEE-HAW!!!

Colby was SUCH a little man. He MADE this day SO special


The BEST day EVER!!!

Sooo. My husband tells me(the day after a terrible fight) that we are going AWAY for our anniversary! My mind takes me to a beach, with a cold drink in my hand workin' on my tan...I say "REALLY?!!!! Where are we going?!!!" He then says a place called Wildcatter Ranch. "HUH?" Now if you know me...AT ALL, then you know that I am just not an out-doorsy kinda girl. I mean, unless it involves a beach...and a cabana boy. I then ask him the most important question ever..."WHY? Really, why can't we go to a beach?" Then I realize that this is the very FIRST time he has put any type of effort into our anniversary, and instead of being typical, snobby Mindy, I should be grateful, and respectful of his doing this. That became even harder to do when I found out how much we were paying to go. I will not lie, I got sick at my stomach. It is costing an enormous amount of money for only 3 days. I tried to remain graceful with my words, because, again, this is SO not Mike Ford to plan stuff like this. Well...Now, I am SO EXCITED! I just can NOT hardly wait. I am READY to shoot stuff, fish, go canoeing, ride horses, and just be one with nature. We NEED this time together. This trip will be the two of us, doing "his" kinda stuff, but I could NOT be more thrilled to do them with him. There are rockin' chairs on the back porches of the "cabin-rooms" I am looking forward to sitting out there with a bucket of beer, and just being STILL! Watching the sunset. Happy Girl! I pray that we come back from this trip rejuvenated, and REFRESHED! Goodness knows we need that. My camera is charged and ready to go! I am READY to become a country girl!(City Mindy, will return Sunday...Lets not be crazy! Ha) I can NOT believe I have been married to this man for 4 years. He still gives me butterflies. I love him more and more, and MORE each day.

So friends, say it with me! YEE-HAW!!!!

XOXO
Mindy

Out of the black hole, back into the Pink one

THIS IS WHAT I GET TO WAKE UP TO!!!



So last week just for lack of better words...SUCKED. I shut down...Completely shut down for a day. What a wasted day. I hate being like that. It's not me. I mean...It can be me, if I let it. I choose not to let it. I was not a motivator for my friends, I was not available for my husband or my kids. I was selfish. I chose to have a pity party, and cry. A Lot. I don't enjoy that side of me, but she visits ever so often. I am blessed. Truly blessed. Last week I forgot that. My purpose of this post is to remind me when I get down. To stop. Look around. Remember what I have, and forget about what I don't have. I know there are moms out there that would just almost give anything to stay home with their children, and while I can NOT guarentee that I will LOVE it everyday, I am making every effort to not dwell on what I "could" be doing, and try to focus more on what I CAN do while I am home.

1) Mike is completely drained when he gets home. I mean, he can barely talk because he is so "talked" out. This really has a tendency to frustrate the FIRE outta me. I want to talk... So he has started coming home and going straight to the shower. He uses that time to unwind, and de-program himself. If I worked, I would feel the same way, and I would not want to talk either, and then no one would be talking...except the kids...to each other. That is not good.

2) The house pretty much stays clean...I am not saying its spotless, BUT I have less than 3 loads of laundry that needs to be done at a time...If you know me super well, then you know that I am more the type to have laundry moutains...And then I get so overwhelmed I just stare at it...And then my husband finally has enough and it causes a fight, and then I spend the next day trying to catch up...This doesn't happen now that I am home. I am thankful for one less fight.

3)I am able to meet friends for lunch, or go to the grocery store when there are not 5 million people there. That is very nice.

4) I can take a nap...its true

I can give all my energy to my family, but I have to choose to not be bitter about it. Perhaps Kinsley needs a mother day out program...Perhaps I need to join a moms group...Honestly...I think it all boils down to how I feel about MYSELF...Isn't that dumb?! Ha! I mean I think If I felt better about my weight, hair, nails, clothes,(I mean it can go on and on...) then I would be more content in other areas... Perhaps bootcamp is NOT such a bad idea after all... I mean who wants to join a moms group, or even go out in public when your stupid clothes don't fit? Call me vain, but I do NOT.

I certainly am not fully into my pink hole, and I am not out of my black hole completely....BUT the hole I am in is starting to lighten up, and hey that's a start! I am still trying to find my purpose, but I HAVE TO REMEMBER TO TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!!!!!!! :)

Love you sweet friends!!!!

Off my chest.

I have typed, and then re-typed this post at least 5 times. I can't get my words out the way, I want, so I just get more fussy about it. But I will try to tell you whats on my mind in a list. Perhaps that will be easier.

1) I HATE humble pie. It would appear that every time I think I have my fabby little life all figured out, God smiles, and then makes me eat a big helping of humble pie. I would appear that He has NOTHING better to do, than to teach me lessons, or make me eat pie I hate.

2)Today I think being a stay-at-home mom is the worst job ever! I mean, its not like I am teaching her 5 different languages. In fact, some days we just tolerate each other.

3)Today my husband is NOT my BFF.

4)I honestly don't know how I would function with out my friends. They ensure that I don't get lost in my own misery. I would be lost with out them, and one of my closest, most precious friends is one that I haven't even hugged in person. MAY OH MAY

5) If you ask someone if they want to come back to work, and they say yes, and send you their resume, its only polite to keep in contact with them in ONE way or another.

6) Boot camp starts on Monday. Ick

7) My son is brilliant, and I am very worried that I am not doing enough to channel his gifts. It is something that bothers me constantly. I assure you, there is nothing worse than your child being smarter than you. Promise.

8) I wish I had a clear purpose in life, something for me. I am lost in all of my hats, and none of them are bringing me any type of joy. I want to throw my wife hat at my husband today, my mom hat is fine, but I'm getting lost in trying to figure out what day it is, because, really, they are all the same. I miss my nursing hat, but don't ever want to put more time and energy into an outside source like I did previously. I want my Mindy hat back!!!!!!!

9) I want my neighbor to rot in jail, or at least a different zip code.

I hate feeling like this, because, the happy, perky, fun Mindy is WAY more fabulous, but today I am really struggling with the thought of Is she even real, or just a figment of my imagination? A show, for others. I am not sure today.

You think I can do what?

Kinsley and I Rocking the Vintage Couture:)

So. As you know, I have recently become a DSR for Vintage Couture(formerly My Vintage Baby.) I must say, that for the first time in a long time, I feel like I have purpose again. Although I can't explain my heart being pulled from nursing, and in a way that makes me very sad. I have always been a nurse, and a FABULOUS one at that. My heart is just not there, for at least right now. This is a very scary thing for me, because while my heart is not in nursing, I am not sure where my heart is. I kinda feel like I am standing in the middle of the field, just waitin' for God to tell me what to do. While I can't just lie in bed until he tells me what "Im supposed to do,"(that would be FAB huh) I do feel like he is giving little tiny cues that I am doing the right thing. For now. I start every morning asking him simply for my Manna for the day. Basically, asking him to just help me through the day, holding my hand and what not. He is just SO beyond AMAZING. I still have some trust issues with him, but MAN, I am getting closer, and closer to where I need, and He wants our relationship to be.
On to giving me cues, that I am walking the right way. Today. I say today, because I am trying very hard to just think about today. Yesterday, I prayed that he would give me a sign that I am doing the right thing for my family, as far as outside income. 5 minutes after that, I got a text msg from VC(vintage couture)'s National Sales Mgr, Holly. First, I need to tell you how amazing Holly has been. She is brand new, and she has already changed the company for the better. She has added trainings, which is all FABULOUS. She has also started the VC hotline, which is a phone number that you call to hear a inspirational message for the day. I LOVE this. The mentors that have already recorded messages have all been so helpful, and wonderful. Ok, so anyways- I get a text message from Holly, asking ME to do the inspirational message this weekend!!!!!!!! HUH? Ok, remember, I started like yesterday. There are people who I am quite sure would be better served to inspire and teach the other DSRs. But I got chosen. Someone thinks that I, little ol' baby DSR, me, would have something inspiring to say. I asked God for confirmation that I am doing the right thing, and then I get asked to do this. I am TRULY humbled. SO beyond humbled. And honored, and excited. I have NO clue what I will say, but I trust that with the Lord's help, I will get through it, and HOPEFULLY my excitement, and true fire in my bellyness will inspire, or at least make someone else excited! We will see.

Have a FABBY FAB weekend sweet friends!

Are you still there friends?

OMGosh. Ok, I am BY FAR probably the worst blogger. Ever. I would never make it as a professional blogger. I mean, I get that. However, I am at such a MAJOR cross road in my life, and while I have tried my best to just take it day by day, perhaps blogging may help. Not sure, but we shall see. I am not even going to bother going over the past year. It has had its ups, and its downs. We are Fords, we know that there will be storms. We have weathered them like the Fords weather things. We get through it, and we try to not think about when the next storm will come. I will say that 2010, and so far 2011 have been quite calm. Perhaps God is testing another marriage. I SURE hope so! HA:) I am still at home with Kinsley. I have my good days, and I have my bad. I LOVE that little girl, but OMGosh, I am paying for my raising(and I am also paying for Mike's which is not fair, I don't think.) She is STILL a mess, only now she climbs, and screams, and tells me NO. I love wondering about what the teenage years will be like. Not really. She is quite the little model, which is actually very funny, because if people knew what she was like without a camera in her face, they would scratch their heads as to why she rocks the camera.Colby is, well turning into a young man. Who does things he is not supposed to. Why do they have to grow up? I just HATE it. He has started golf lessons, and that seems to really make him excited. THANK GOODNESS we have found something. Mike is now a BIG BOY Sgt!!! WHOO-HOO!! I am so proud of that man. He has overcome so many hurdles and he manages to do it with such grace. I admire him for that. SO much. As for me...Well its kinda hard to explain. For the past 6 years, my whole heart has been in nursing. Until about 6 months ago, I had the plan to finish my degree, and then get a job as a school nurse. Now, I have NO clue what I want to be when I grow up. Now, I understand that 28 is a little late to be trying to decide your career path. I have recently started a new business endeavur as a DSR for Vintage Couture(My Vintage Baby.) I have to tell you, I LOVE it. I have had the opportunity to meet, and LEARN from some AMAZINGLY FABBY FAB women. This whole company is just pretty darn awesome. And if it makes any sense, I "get it". This whole people, selling thing is probably in my blood, because it comes so easy. I am not convinced that I am going to do this forever, and I have also not taken off my nursing hat forever, but I also have no idea what I am going to do. I feel like the Lord has some AMAZING plans for me, and I want to do them, I just don't know what they are, and if my hubby is going to put up with my wish-washiness much longer either. I suppose we shall see.
Ok. Gosh, now see, I just feel so much better! Maybe there is something to this whole bloggin' thing...Oh lets not get ahead of ourselves. Baby steps.

XOXO
Mindy

A little(Ok, Ok ALOT) behind...

So I havent blogged in a really long time, and I hate that, BUT its been nuts here!! Since my last blog, Feb 1st, we had 12 inches of snow, PIG flu, 6 month check up, soccer started, and now we are on to Spring Break..Ahhh RELAXATION!!! Kinsley is, well, A MESS!!! There are no other words for her other than that. It really terrifies me at times to picture her at 2, but she is SO worth it(maybe)!!! She has started talking(mamamamamama, dadadadadada), we love it!! Now, I know that she probably doesn't know what she is saying, BUT she seems to wimper mamamama when she needs/wants something, and dadadada comes out when she is playing, which sounds about right to me! Haha!:) I have recently discovered how to "wear" her, and I swear(no lie) I feel like a whole new world has been opened up to me! She hates(and I mean HATES) to be strapped in to anything, but she doesnt mind being strapped to me! I just put her on, and off we go! I am mad at myself for not discovering this sooner! I love that she is developing a little personality, but it makes me sad at the same time! I know that the bigger she gets the less she is going to need so much "Mommy time", it may sound nuts, but thats how I feel. She is already becoming more independent, and that makes me sad...kinda. I also know that soon I will have to return to work, and that is bitter sweet too. I am always looking towards the future, I need to STOP, and focus on today! I signed up for boot camp! Stay tuned for that! Colby LOVES soccer!!! Its just a big party around the Ford house! Talk to you soon!(Hopefully):)

Daddy turns the BIG 31!!!

Yep! He's offically deep in his 30's now! Haha! We have been on a pretty tight budget since I stopped working, so we didnt do anything fabulous(we went on a cruise to celebrate his 30th, so I dont feel all THAT bad!). Saturday night we got a babysitter for a couple hours, and went "out". We made it until 1100, and that was only after I called to check on her 3 times, so about once an hour! It felt really good though to get out of the house. The place we went was PACKED! Rodeo is in town, and boy you can tell!! Then Sunday I left him alone all day! He didn't have to rearrange anything, move anything, or clean anything! He took a long nap, and then Colby got home, and we all watched a movie! We met some of our family at Pappadeaux for dinner, and that was really nice! Kinsley was on her best behavior, which is always a treat, and since Colby had his folder signed 3 days in a row last week, he was very (cautiously) good! :) It was a great night. I love him more everyday. This past year has had its shares of UPs and DOWNS, but I wouldn't want to go through these trials with anyone else. I LOVE YOU MIKE FORD!!!!

Things are starting to MAYBE look up...

So I have totally been preparing myself for the worst when it comes to Kinsley and her RSV. She has amazed me with how well she is doing! She has an ear infection too, so now the meds have started to kick in, and she is back on the move! She is really starting to roll over, and sit up, and eat, and its all just WAY to fast for me! I put her under her activity mat yesterday, and went into the kitchen to put away dishes. I start to hear this banging noise, look up, and see that she had wiggled her way over to the TV/X box, and was kicking the X Box tower against the TV!!! I see a lot of child proofing in our future!

And just when things were going SO good...

Something knocks me right back to reality! Last week had me thinking that 2010 was going to be a FANTASTIC year. This week not so much. Baby Princess has RSV, and she is so pitiful that it makes me want to cry! No Gym this week either, which really knocks my great start into the dirt! Hopefully my motivation will be there next week. We will see! Hopefully the week will get better as well!

Bikini HERE I COME

So I have decided that I am going to turn myself into a lean mean skinny machine! Its obviously much harder than it looks, because well, I HATE TO WORK OUT!! I dont enjoy "feeling the pain",and I dont like to sweat. YUCK! However, I decided to give it a whirl, and signed our family up at the YMCA. Mike was not super excited about it, because, well, he knows me! I went for the first time Monday, and attended this class called Zumba...OMGosh!!! I LOVE it!!! I hope this feeling of love hangs around...Stay Tuned!!!:)

Lets See How This Works

So it appears that I am the only one in the entire worrld that does not have a blog. Even my best,good friend has one, and its about fashion. So I have decided to start the new year, and TRY to blog. Its not that I dont want to, its just very scary, because I am SO not computer savvy! So where to begin?! Last year was one of the best years in my life, because we were blessed with our beautiful daughter Kinsley. She is such a blessing, and I love what joy she has brought to our lives.Her big takes such good care of her, and between the two of them we are truely BLESSED!